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I_Think_Ive_Become_A_Spam_Addict
| I Think Ive Become A Spam Addict
I THINK I'VE BECOME A SPAM ADDICT
I recently wrote an article, "5 Reasons Why You Should Post A
Free Classified Ad" and have received a lot of positive feedback
about the article but nobody said anything nice about the
spamsters.
I tried to imagine what the Internet would be like without spam
and concluded my life would be negatively impacted by it's
absence.
Most of the spam I get is funny. Ridiculous claims, poor syntax
and bad spelling seem to be the constants. Sometimes when I try
to reply to their scheme I am told by the server that they have
been shut down. These pathetic souls are promoting something
that is, at least temporarily, out of business. They cite U.S.
House and Senate bills that died in session as evidence they are
not spamsters. I have actually been advised that unsolicited
bulk email is not spam.
When I check my email and find no new messages it's a let down.
I feel unpopular, unloved. If it's a slow day and all I have is
a little spam I read it. It's pretty obvious these front line
spamsters have been taken in by the slick website that provides
a bundle of services for a fee which includes "blasting" a pitch
to millions of "opt in" email addresses. I feel better just
knowing there is somebody dumber than Stupidman. They're so dumb
they probably don't know they're spamming plus they paid for the
privilege.
I used to save the "Nigerian" letters that arrived by snail
mail. The stamps were pretty and there was some variation in the
story line. Visitors that came to my office were amused by my
collection and often requested copies. I received a Nigerian
email a couple of weeks ago that was sent from a Yahoo! account.
What a pleasant, nostalgic experience. The poor grammar, their
admission of stealing $70,000,000 from the Nigerian government
(death sentence ?), offering me 30% to committ a federal crime
by laundering the money. All I had to do was provide them with
the information necessary to raid my bank account and steal my
identity. Sure it was spam, but it was entertaining. The Yahoo!
account made me suspicious that this might be a "fake" Nigerian
scheme. I hope not, as I thought it was uplifting to know that
the Nigerians were using the Internet to improve their economy.
I've even received some educational spam. Got a long chain
letter scheme in Spanish (or Spammish as it is referred to in
the Stupidman household). It became a project for my son,
Greased Lightning, and me to translate. As he'll be taking
Spanish II next year this was a worthwhile family project. He
even enjoyed it.
I don't like receiving the porn spam. It might be okay if I was
single but I'm not. I worry that I'll be accused by The Boss,
Mrs. Stupidman, or the kids of being a porn addict. (It's bad
enough being a spam addict.) All I can do is delete it. On the
rare occasions when they offer an "unsubscribe" you have to do
it at a website. That sounds like a good way to get on even more
porn lists.
If you are viewing an empty mail box and missing out on the
rich, cultural experiences like the Nigerian letter and Spammish
email, it may not be because you are unpopular. It's probably
due to your spam filters. Turn them off, have some fun and read
the spam.
About the author:
Stupidman, Internet Guru Trainee. Doesn't that say it all.
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