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Know_the_Building_Blocks_of_Dialogue_that_Lead_to_New_Learning_Innovation_and_Synergy
| Know the Building Blocks of Dialogue that Lead to New Learning, Innovation and Synergy
With the complexity and continuous change leaders and managers
face today, continuous learning, responsiveness, adaptation and
innovation are essential survival skills. Yet, one constant that
human beings seem to want and need more than anything when they
are in relationship to another human is to be heard. So often in
conversation, we spend a lot more time advocating for our
position rather than seeking to hear and understand another.
Listening may be the single most powerful skill of communication
for it is an act of respect and of valuing. It seems
counterintuitive, yet when we listen and seek to understand
first, we also create more receptivity in the other to hear us.
When we create such an environment of safety, people are willing
to take risks and new learning can occur.
There are four building blocks of conversation that help people
move out of defensive, routinized, or reactive communication
patterns that inhibit movement towards clear action and
successful achievement of desired goals.
1. Developing Your Listening Skills — This includes eye contact,
listening without thinking of one’s rebuttals or preparing for
what to say next, listening for emotional content as well as
information, and asking questions to clarify meaning
2. Seeking to Suspend Judgment — To be human is to be a judgment
manufacturer. We are always in the process of making judgments,
both positive and negative. Whether we are judging ourselves or
others, judgment shuts down creativity, imagination and
learning.. Whether you agree or disagree with the other person,
your judgments will limit your ability to listen and learn
something new. Be aware that negative judgments are particularly
damaging to your ability to listen. Strive to first be aware of
your judgments. In so doing, you can become clear that this is a
reaction and you can then more objectively bring it into the
conversation as an interpretation.
3. Testing Your Assumptions — Assumptions are all those things
that we think we know about how reality is, whether for
ourselves or for others. We carry multiple sets of assumptions
that act as lenses or filters for our perceptions. Because each
of us has a unique life experience, we each carry a unique set
of assumptions although we do, of course, also have shared
assumptions which serve to glue us together. Effective
communication demands that we test our own assumptions as well
as clarify those of others. Only then can we know that we are
speaking a shared language of meaning. Different assumptions in
and of themselves don’t create problems so much as the need to
be right about our assumptions!
4. Balancing use of inquiry with advocating your own position
and interests — Growing out of the ability to listen, inquiry is
about asking questions and holding an attitude of curiosity.
Questions that seek to understand (as opposed to questions that
seek to interrogate) create doorways into new levels of
understanding and learning for both the speaker and the
listener. Inquiry, by its very nature, can deepen your ability
to think systemically because questions often reveal the
relationships among the parts that make up the whole.
Organizations and businesses need to create effective
communication cultures in order to thrive. The competitive edge
in business will be maintained by those who are continually
learning how to improve. Leaders who understand and employ these
high-impact communication strategies will create robust and
resilient organizations that cannot only adapt to the new
challenges and changing conditions of these uncertain times but
can actually thrive.
About the author:
Manya Arond-Thomas, M.D., is the founder of Manya Arond-Thomas &
Company, a coaching and consulting firm that catalyzes the
creation of “right results” through facilitating executive
development, high-performance teams and organizational
effectiveness. She can be reached at (734) 480-1932 or e-mailed
at manya@arond-thomas.com. Subscribe to Emotional Intelligence
at Work mailto:many_list@aweber.com
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