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Multiculturalism_The_New_Reality
| Multiculturalism: The New Reality
Multiculturalism is a reality in the US and for those of us who
do business globally. The US has more legal immigrants yearly
than all the other countries in the world combined.
Also there are vast cultural differences among "native"
Americans living in the US for several generations, as you know
if you've done business with a New Yorker (better be quick!)or
bi'ness with a Texan (better stand at a 90% angle to your male
companion).
Culture is neither ethnic nor racial. It is learned and each
culture is different. Treat everyone like a unique individual,
as you would like to be treated, don't get hung up on
stereotypes, and develop your emotional intelligence so you can
be more intuitive about how to communicate with, negotiate with,
and provide services and products for people from cultural
backgrounds other than your own.
SOUTH TEXAS TWO-STEP
In South Texas, if you're talking to a male, he will stand at a
90% angle to you.
If you move to reorient, a "dance" will begin. This is a
markedly non-intimate position (macho), and often the eyes are
cast down at the floor or out across the floor, not at the other
party.
South Texans generally say "Pleased to know you," while Mid
Westerners say, "Pleased to meet you" or "Pleased to make your
acquaintance."
More from San Antonio, Texas – in a strictly social setting,
it’s not customary to shake hands with women. In society,
there’s the haute hug – two women will parody a hug with no part
of their body touching, just tapping each other on the back.
Often with an older, respected person, or to express affection
with respect, you shake hands, then cover their and your hands
with your left hand, patting or stroking while maintaining eye
contact.
MOST CULTURES OF THE WORLD DON’T GREET BY SHAKING HANDS
People from Asian cultures bow in greeting, but the bows are
different.
People from Cambodia and Laos bow with their hands in the prayer
position in front of the chest. In Japan, the depth of the bow
signifies the level of respect for the other party. Many Koreans
prefer bowing and if they shake hands, the right hand is
supported at the wrist by the left hand to show respect. Thais
bow with palms together about chest-high with their fingers
outstretched. And, there are exceptions. The Taiwanese usually
nod the head in recognition rather than bow.
HUGGING AND KISSING
Native Hawaiians hug each other, exchanging breaths in a custom
called “aha.” Mexicans use the abrazo (hug).
If your Cuban male client kisses you on the cheek, you know
you've made the short list. Immigrant men from the Middle East
often shake hands with a slight nod or bow and then exchange
kisses on both cheeks. They don’t shake hands with women, or
introduce the woman they’re with. Men in Eastern Europe,
Portugal, Spain and Italy will often kiss male friends on the
cheek.
THE SALAAM
Pakistanis greet with salaam, the equivalent of our "hello" –
bowing with the palm of the right hand on the forehead.
POSTURE HAS MEANING
Ready to settle in with your Middle Eastern client? As an
American, you’re likely most comfortable sitting back in your
chair and crossing your legs. Well, don't! In the Middle East,
one of the most insulting things you can do is sit with your
legs crossed so the bottom of your foot is pointed in the other
person's direction. The foot is the dirtiest part of the body
and the sole of the shoe is the dirtiest of the low. According
to Michael Lee, to show someone the bottom of your foot means
you're looking for a fight!
WHEN IS A HANDSHAKE NOT A HANDSHAKE?
Even hand-shaking cultures such as England, France, Germany,
Italy and the US do it differently.
Brits prefer a brief but firm handshake. The French prefer a
light grip while sharing one gentle single shake that is quickly
withdrawn. Germans will give a very firm handshake -- just one
"pump" then quick withdrawal. More than one shake with Germans
or French is considered aggressive. Italians will shake hands
and then hug friends or kiss them on both cheeks. In many
southern US states, it is not customary to shake hands with
women.
WHEN YOU ASSUME YOU MAKE AN A**-out of U and ME
Bear in mind the other person may be trying to accommodate to
your culture, so don't assume they will use their traditional
greeting.
For example, if you start first, for instance bowing, and then
see a hand extended for a shake, and switch to that, the other
person will then have switched to a bow and this becomes
awkward. For many cultures such "awkwardness" will kill the deal
early on. When you put someone in an awkward position, they
"lose face."
DISTANCE HAS MEANING TOO
Different cultures have different preferred distances for
interacting. If someone moves in closer than you’re accustomed
to, or comfortable with, stay the ground, because if you
automatically draw back the other person can be offended.
The Chinese tend to stand closer than Americans because of the
crowded spaces in China. Middle Easterners typically stand
barely a foot away. They operate on the principle “I want to
feel your breath on my face.” The more formal Japanese tend to
bow at about 3’ away, and then step back another foot. Don’t
advance into their space if you want to build relationship.
India has some complex rules of distance because of the caste
system, so hold back and observe what the other person plans to
do. Germans are perhaps the most guarded of their personal space.
THE CRITICAL FIRST MOVE IN RELATIONSHIP IS THE GREETING SO DON’T
BOTCH IT
Begin with a polite word or two, such as "Mr. and Mrs.
Taekwondo, it's such a pleasure to finally meet," and then wait
to see what happens. When they make their move, mirror it, by
bowing, shaking hands, giving the abrazo, or nothing! Use your
intuition! When in doubt, err on the side of conservatism.
Some information is from Michael Lee's excellent book, "Opening
Doors".
About the author:
Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc , offers
individual and executive emotional intelligence coaching,
business EQ culture programs, distance learning, and EQ Alive! (
http://www.eqcoach.net ) training for coaching emotional
intelligence. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE eZine.
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