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Walking_on_coals_of_fire_Three_ways_for_business_owners_and_others_to_overcome_their_lack_of_belief_in_themselves
| Walking on coals of fire. Three ways for business owners and others to overcome their lack of belief in themselves
Why do so many of us lack belief in ourselves? Why do we doubt
whether we can succeed in working for ourselves? How can we
solve this problem and start discovering the huge power that
belief in ourselves brings?
Millions of people do not believe in themselves enough to
achieve their dreams or goals. Many business men or women fail
to achieve success because they give up too soon when they run
into problems.
They do not believe enough in their own abilities or they do not
believe that they deserve to achieve success.
Few have the self belief of a Henry Ford who was bankrupted
several times before his Ford Motor car business became a
success.
I teach a martial art which encourages students to work hard and
consistently to achieve their black belt. Some students drop out
after two or three months but amazingly a few drop out when they
are one grade away from their black belt.
I can only guess that some of these students do not believe that
they deserve their black belt or they do not believe that they
have the ability to pass the grading exam.
Some one has told them at some point in their lives that they
are a pushover or a weakling or a lazy good-for-nothing. They
believed that negative person and the belief lodged deep in
their subconscious mind. This negative view of themselves was
enough to stop them even attempting to take the black belt test.
Some instructors close down their schools (or fail to even open
them) not because they lack the skills of an instructor but
because they do not believe in their abilities enough to open
and promote their schools.
When I started one of my martial arts schools thirteen years ago
only one student came to the opening class and he had been
arrested for causing grievous bodily harm to several policemen!
He turned out to be one of the nicest people and a great student
but I could well have given up trying to start a school then and
there.
Fortunately I believed from previous experience that I could
succeed as a martial arts instructor and this school has now
been going for 14 years.
Believing that we do not deserve success or lack the necessary
ability can stop us even trying. It can paralyse us so much that
even the smallest effort seems a waste of time. What can we do
about this paralysing lack of belief?
One quick solution is to try anyway and not worry about the
results. When I took my black belt test in Taekwondo, I did not
believe that I deserved to succeed but I thought I would take
the test anyway and see what happened.
Even if I had failed the test I could at least have felt the
satisfaction of having given it a go. The real success lay in
being willing to take action and to risk the possibility of
failure.
A couple of years ago I went to the Tony Robbins' fire walk
seminar held in the Arena at London Docklands. I did not believe
I would walk unscathed over the hot coals. I took plenty of
antiseptic ointment to rub on my blistered feet. I reasoned that
as I weighed over eighteen stone, I would sink into the glowing
coals and not be able to move my feet out of danger quickly
enough!
Tony's pre-fire walk talk did not help too much. He told us how
on his first fire walk he did not wash down his feet after the
walk to get rid of any hot coals that had attached themselves to
his feet. As a result he had a severe burn and when he
accidentally bumped his foot against a chair, the pus poured out!
He also casually mentioned that two people had died after doing
the firewalk at seminars not run by himself!!
As a result of all this, my belief that I would walk through the
fire unscathed was not strong. All the words we were meant to be
saying to ourselves as we did the walk went out of my mind. When
my time came there was no time to think. I just walked anyway.
Fortunately, the walk was short and the coals were not deep
enough to sink in to and the helpers were very quick to wash
down my feet at the conclusion of the walk. In the end I did not
need the antiseptic ointment. Doing the walk anyway had worked.
A more frightening seminar test was breaking an arrow whose
point was lodged in the throat. A board was held tightly against
the other end of the arrow and seminar attendees were encouraged
to take one step forward boldly and in a state of belief that
the arrow would break and not penetrate their throats!
Again, when it was my turn, I did not have any particular belief
in my mind (apart from thinking that I was an idiot for doing
this) but stepped forward anyway. Mercifully the arrow broke.
Belief was not essential; doing it anyway was all that was
necessary.
Many business men and women attend these seminars because they
or their bosses have realised how important belief is both in
life and in business. Hopefully they will learn to believe in
themselves but if they do not they may, like me, learn the power
of doing it anyway.
Another solution (apart from going ahead anyway) is to
understand why people might have put you down in the past. If
someone called you a weakling in the past, they may well have
been trying to make themselves feel stronger at your expense. A
really strong person will encourage others to become strong.
Someone who is a failure does not like the idea that someone
they know will do better than themselves. They will tell you
that you are wasting your time if you try to improve yourself.
If you leave the rat race and start your own business, you
become an instant target for sceptics and critics.
I remember being called a big head at school when I moved up a
form into a class where everyone was one year older than me.
Some of the class could not bear to think that someone was doing
better than they were. As a result of the criticism I stopped
working hard for a couple of years and was fortunate to pass the
exams.
Another solution to the problem of lack of belief is to repeat a
positive belief at speed so that doubts do not have a chance to
take hold. Dave O'Connor of Educo has a series of exercises
which develop this kind of instant belief.
Try this one. Stand with your eyes shut and your hands down by
your sides. Start saying at speed something like this: "My right
arm is attached to a helium balloon. The balloon is rising into
the air pulling my arm upwards with it. My arm is going up, up,
up, higher and higher, up, up, up. The more I resist, the higher
it goes. Higher and higher, up, up etc."
See what happens! Usually at Dave's seminars, most people's
hands do go up. There is always someone, however, who is
thinking thoughts like: "This is silly. The man's gone mad!" The
hands of such people stay down! Too many doubts have been
allowed to nest in their minds.
Once you get good at controlling your thoughts and beliefs
through exercises like the one above, you can apply the power of
belief to every activity in your life including business and
start creating success. You can learn to shut out the negative
thoughts and focus on the positive ones.
This evening I watched a property developer working on a house
in a TV program. She was accompanied throughout by an 'expert'
who criticised her every move. The expert thought the bath was
too big for the bathroom. She thought the house had been
customised too much in the style of the developer.
She thought the developer was way over budget and would never
make a profit. She thought the developer would have trouble
selling the house at Ł145,000. The developer thought it would go
for Ł150,000. Five weeks later the house sold for Ł150,000.
The developer had believed in her own abilities and instincts
despite the views of several estate agents and one very negative
'expert'.
We can then overcome our lack of belief by: Going ahead anyway
even without any belief and by understanding why some people
will try to undermine our belief in ourselves. A third way is by
cramming our minds with positive statements and ignoring
negative criticism from within or without.
John Watson www.motivationtoday.com
About the author:
John Watson runs a martial arts school in Kent, England. He
taught religious studies and lifeskills to London teenagers for
33 years.
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